illnesses

they are overtaking my life. I return back home after about one month since last being here, and my mum has the weirdest illness ever. She chokes to death nearly, hanging over the sink being sick. Disturbed. Massively revolting.

And then my best friend rings me and is speaking as though she as drunk as sin and it is 10 am. Then she tells me hasn't drunk since two days ago and her right side is numb. I recommend her go to the hospital. One day later I receive a text telling me I was right and she has Meningitis. Now I have to ring her every night to make sure she is OK, because although she is many miles away anyway, I miss her much more now that I won;t be seeing her as soon as I get back to University. I don't know what I am going to do.

work

slowly gets better... I have completed 2 out of seven essays I have to complete and I have eleven days to do the other five. OK maybe I am not doing as well as I originally thought...

money problems

really should be the only problem in my life right now, even though I wish they weren't.

HOWEVER, I have problems with work and boys.

WHY?

work: I cannot so it and really should, I have eight essays to do in two weeks, start now please?

i really think i should go to a library somewhere and maybe life will sort itself out in that respect?

boys: Lewis still makes my heart race and he is so charming. Doug came back to mine on Friday night, we watched Prince Caspian and we were spooning a little, but he tried NOTHING!! - like not even a kiss!- Should I have done?

and now my pissing heart is beating.

can he stop playing with me? i need him there totally or not at all. i like him a lot and i can't have him because

a) he is my brothers best friend

b) everyone would frown upon me

c) he is younger

d) he has a girlfriend.

and it starts

as I knew it would. Things with Lewis have kicked off again. I mean, they did even when I was with Ben, I just can't help it, we are so close to each other. We are throwing compliments back and forth and reminiscing about all those times we spent together. Oh what to do?

Oh, and as predicted, today my friends definitely muscled their way into my so far 'just friends' relationship with Doug.

Friendship Groups

are much appreciated in my life. It allows me to be a little social butterfly skipping from friend to friend as I say hi to them all, but there is ONE particular friendship group that I cannot deal with at the moment. And unfortunately it's those ones that live up here in Manchester. TYPICAL.

Last night I went to Doug's house. Doug is the guy who my friends are trying to get me with. It also happens that Doug is in my friendship group, and having been in this situation before with Ben, I think that doing it again would not be such a good idea.

But on the whole last night was really nice, we watched a comedy and snuggled up on his sofa bed. If only it wasn't smarred with the texts of someone saying 'Go for it' or 'Please be more than friends'

I'LL DECIDE IN MY OWN TIME THANKS.

Being at home

progressively gets worse. It started off well and then I started to fall into my own ways and mother dearest remembers how she used to treat me. I do not appreciate this kind of treatment. I AM NO LONGER A CHILD. If I say I will get up soon, it means 'Leave me alone... I'm napping'. Even though countless years ago she WAS actually a student, i still don't think she quite grasps the concept of student life.

She doesn't understand that now, with such joys of Facebook and TVCatchup, I will be in my bed for a long while just staring at the computer screen. She then has the cheek to ask me how the internet can be so 'enthralling'. WELL. what can I say?

THEN THERE'S THE TIMES SHE COME IN MY ROOM WILLY NILLY. WTF? This morning for example, she walks into my room and asks me why I am not up. There was only one simple response. I looked at the clock so I could be precise and said, in the most monotonal voice I could muster 'It's 10:21'.