organisational skills

I thought mine were bad. Apparently not. I want to have a New Years Party, and have put forth this idea to my friends, but they seem reluctant to decide and have made a VOTE to decide whats going to happen. I so far have two days. I need to take action, or I am going to burst and nothing is going to happen. House Party it is.

God & Heritage; Blog Response

I can't believe that was the last time I am going to hear that really slow 'Rob's Blog' which I have come to find so funny and comforting, for some weird reason. You may think me weird and totally obsessed AGAIN but Rob, you get me thinking an awful lot about Harry Potter, and your whole ' I have one word to say to you - floorboards' definitely reminds me of Dumbledore's 'Twitment, Ointment, Blubber, Tweak' when he tells us he has a few words to say. I am not sure what I think about when you say Church Heritage so I am going to listen to floorboards... I have never thought about the wearing away of the floorboards, and now I think about it, as a lot of those people would have been older, they really would have been shuffling. But as for continuing to wear the floorboards, you have kind of stopped that with the whole carpet idea! I have definitely gained something, and I don't want to be the last link in the chain, but to make sure I am not, I am going to carry on being open about my faith and talking about it to others because I know that it will get through to somebody, no matter how little or large a difference it makes to their life. At least I'll feel like I've played my part. I ask only one thing in return. Can I have that Café Sundae Jigsaw or has somebody already called dibs? (Unless it's God himself, I win.)

Oops.

You know that old joke about the balloon world and the girl who took a needle into school and let everyone down including herself? Well I feel like that right now. I managed to go two and a half months without drinking, decide that Christmas I deserve a treat, feel like shit, and end up in the old position of my friends either supporting me or judging me or talking about me. Neither of which is good, trust me. I'm in the position now of lying on a friends floor wanting to leave because I want to be in my room able to wake up when I want and do my work when I can. But I've put myself in this position. Again. Weirdly it's the friends who aren't here who I am letting down. My closest friends, the ones I care about the most. And because I know I'll never be able to tell them what I've done tonight, I put it on here in the hope that it will help me forget it and remember what good friends I have, and to true their judgement. It's usually the right one. Let's just hope they don't find this until I find the courage to apologise fully for everything i have ever done wrong. And that goes out to one person in particular. For now, I'm sorry I let myself go, I hate myself for it and I am never doing this again. Ever.

"everything will work out fine in the end"

One of my best friends last night repeated this line to me last night, after a long chat and an even longer journey for our friendship. It made me realise what amazing friends I have and that I should focus on those who appreciate me and treat me as a friend rather than a joke. I had an amazing night while experiencing cutting someone out, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can. I have to talk to one person to sort things out but hopefully I'll get to do that before Christmas so I can start 2011 afresh.