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Maths

We have totally fabricated a complete lie. About what children want to be when they grow up. This is the data we found out in a wordle....

title="Wordle: Career Choices"> src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/4413039/Career_Choices"
alt="Wordle: Career Choices"
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Science

Science is getting me down again. It just really isn't my cup of tea. I just wish that I could do it without having to think so much about it, which stresses me out to no end. I need to destress, so I wrote this to send the stress onto someone else to stress about science. I hope it works,,

take my stress away

Bit Awkward...

Just read through my blogs, and my 'Aim for the Year' is not going quite as planned... The current state of things is more of a 'work a bit, and play infinite amounts'... Oh well, maybe we can turn that around a bit...

photos for a month of neglect.

Just a bit of happiness really.

I am happy. I have been happy for a few days, and I honestly couldn't tell you the source of this happiness. It could be anything. Seeing more of my friends, being back into the swing of uni, continuing to act like a complete child, or having an absolute joke sesh with a friend. Who knows? I meant to write on here earlier than this, but it took me so long to get back into uni (unsure why), that I actually had nothing of interest to report. I usually talk about a change in emotion, and seeing as though all I was experiencing was confusion, and trying to focus on continuing well at university, I never gave my blog a second thought. It has taken me a full month to get back to the usual state of happiness I am in whilst at university, and I am releaved I have reached it. Let's just hope nothing drastic happens in the near future to jeopardise my happiness, and current state of being. I'm quite enjoying it. Plus everyone I see gets a smile, so it's not all me, me, me either!

Excitement amounts.

I am so excited for my birthday that it is barely real. I am trying to hide it, by keeping myself busy and not focusing on the fact that I am 21 in 2 days, but it is really hard! I mean, I love birthdays, very much so! They are my most favourite thing in the whole world! Maybe apart from Christmas, but everyone loves Christmas! Man oh man, if Friday doesn't come soon, I might swell up because of the excitement! It is likely I will swell anyway, I am going out for an infinity of meals this week, and I don't have the largest of stomachs!

And I am also excited to be back at university, because I cannot WAIT to see all my friends, and hang out with them again. It is going to be so much fun!

Aim for the year - play hard, work harder.

Oh My ACTUAL Goolies

On Monday night, me the girls, and the boys, went out for a night out... you know because that is what we like to do. It also was because half of them are leaving to do a year abroad with uni this week so we decided it might be nice to go out one more time with everyone there. Except that is not what went down. We went to Tiger Tiger in Manchester, which is FANTASTIC, and if you are reading this, I recommend you go, on a Monday... it is superb. However, this was not the view of all of my friendly members, and they decided it might be fun to cause utter uproar and leave at half one. That is 2 hours before it closes. Not acceptable. I just think it is a little bit pathetic.

Mission Report (d)

OK i finished, but it took me a lot longer than anticipated. I have now started on Dan Brown's Rober Langdon books, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot get into the third one. But I will this time. I will. If I don't well.. I have decided I am going to tweet him if he has twitter, and if not he will just receive a very angry hashtag.

Mission Report (c)

I am now on the Prisoner of Azkaban, and have lost the will to live. I received my results today and failed two essays so will probably be concentrating on those. It's a shame because this is a goal I wish to achieve. WELL. I still have 9 days... There is still hope I suppose.

Mission Report (b)

I suppose I am not doing too badly now, I am half way through number two, but as it is the 4th July, I really don't have much more time to read all seven... I might have to rely on the rain to make me really bored, stay in bed and read. I mean the sun HAS been useful, what with reading and bathing in it... but there is only so much my arms will take holding up either a book or myself to read in the sun. Ah well. I am getting there.

Mission Report (a)

It's not going as well as I'd hoped. I am still on the Philosopher's Stone and it is the 2nd July. Damn. Hopefully by the end of the day I will have started the Chamber of Secrets.

HARRY POTTER, the only true love of my life.

Harry Potter is one of the most brilliant things of the 21st Century. Abeautiful invention, courtesy of the outstanding imagination of J.K.Rowling. What a superstar. I have spent the last few days watching every single Harry Potter DVD I own and intend to read books 1-7 before the final film comes out on 15th July. that gives me 1 day to finish the book I am on, and then 15 days to read all seven... Man that's a mission, but I am determined. and free most days. Therefore, I am now on a mission to read seven books in 15 days. Given the nature of the proportionate size I reckon if I at least finish The Philosophers Stone by the end of the first day and manage to start The Chamber of Secrets, then I am onto a winner.

I will report on how I cope. This is going to take sheer determination, faith, hope and sheer skill. Luckily for me, I have all of those things.

Sun: Cream, Glasses, Hat, BATHE

Directions for a beautiful day:

1) Throw on a bikini
2) Add some short shorts
3) Slap on some sun cream (for safety)
4) Wear a sunhat
5) Stick on some sunnies
6) Grab a book
7) Play some tunes
8) Go out and relax in the sun!

Excellent, now you know how it is done; I can tell you about my day.

I did exactly this, minus the suncream bit to full extent, particularly as I live in the North and require a suntan. And I spent the day in the sun reading Angels and Demons courtesy of Dan Brown. It was beautiful, and I read to myself and aloud to the garden. I also added a shallow pool of water in which to put my feet. It was glorious and I managed to get a significant way into the book. It was beautiful. All I have to do now is remain inside while it is cloudy and the gardener is here, and watch some of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. And I am also preparing to go out into Manchester, Font and Fifth Avenue. I have got a little sunburnt, but I have red hair it can't be helped. And I seem to have a developped an immunity and a way of turning it into a tan relatively quickly!

It's a glorious life I lead.

End of the Year, Start Afresh

The end of another year, another placement, another life. However, it is the start of something new. This year I have made new friends, and they are the friends who I know will stick by me. I have become closer to an amazing person who is my best friend. She is the best. Unfortunately some other things have gone wrong, but everything is a learning curve right? I have learnt to reflect on my mistakes, and learn from them, because there is no other way but to move forward, and in the words of the wise old Pumbaa, put your behind in the past. Or something like that. I can safely say that 2011 so far has been the best year of my life. And it started fantastically. The academic year was half way through, but I plan to fully forget my first term of second year, because of the anger I felt. It is truly unhealthy to feel such anger. I have started to work through that, and laugh at life a little bit more. OK, a lot more, but laughter is the best medecine.

Mid-Block Review,, Roehampton University

So I am half way through placement, BSE, of my second year at Roehampton University, and today I completed my mid-block review. As it was all formal and boring I thought I would do an official one on here which is a little more exciting and tells the true stuff as opposed to the 'Yes I have completed my targets and these are my goals for the remainder of my BSE' model I completed today. This year, it is going a LOT better, and I love it. I love the children, I love being able to teach them, and I love the feedback I get off the teacher. I also enjoy being able to learn from her, as she is a truly amazing teacher, and I believe she has had a great impact on my progression as a teacher. I am so happy, and my SET has really helped as well. If you are reading this and don't understand any of the abbreviations, well I am sorry, but that's teacher talk. If you do, well bully for you, I hope you enjoy teaching, or training as one. Because only if you are in one of these situations, would you know and be able to learn these abbreviations. And I completely admire all teachers a lot more now, because the stress and fatigue of this job is mental. I have been really tired almost every day, but I am trying to work through it, and also look after myself. So for now, I am going to get some tea. Thankyou teachers, old and young, present and past, you're an inspiration to all.

Time and Time Again.

I mess up. A lot of the time. I started to drink again, because I enjoy it. And I have the right to do things I enjoy. HOWEVER. I have recently drank WAY too much, and ended up being in situations I wish I wasn't in. I feel so bad for making my friends experience these times along with me, but I'll tell you what, I love them so much for it. Like, so much. Annabelle - a true super star, and I know she'll be there for me no matter what. Kate - a person who reminds me a bit of myself. And I love her for that. I can learn from her, and help her on her way to improving her own lifestyle. And mine. And although I've recently been let down by Kat - she also reminds me of myself. She made a mistake, alright a pretty huge one, but still, taking a leaf from Annabelle's book, I am trying to be there for her as much as I can. It's just hard when I am not really comfortable with liars. 'Liar' is a pretty strong word and probably makes me a hypocrite, especially in the eyes of some other friends, but seriously, I never lie to intentionally hurt someone. Or base a friendship on lies. Still confused. But I suppose life is about learning from the mistakes of others, as well as yourself? It's just a shame that such mistakes hurt the people I love, and other people's mistakes hurt me.

Lost in confusion

I don't know where confusion is, or how I got there, but I am definitely lost in it. I am confused about why certain things happen, why people feel the need to share every single thing with people that definitely do not need to know. Why tell them things which will anger them, and then make someone else more angry or upset? I just don't understand. I am confused about why people do things, and don't explain them. To their friends! I can ask, and get a null response, nothing. It really aggravates me, and I can't understand why a straight answer can't be given. Sometimes feeling like this makes me feel really hypocritical in spite of all the things I've done, but that was in the past, I regret that, apologised, and it's over. Can't people just see that? Also, some of my friends are not acting in the way true friends should, it makes me think too much about who I call a friend and who is just someone I know. I think I've had this conversation in my mind already, and it is in relation to the same person. Judgemental... It's annoying, especially when I can't read their thoughts. This goes back to the trust thing. Some of my friends, if they knew about this, should seriously consider their positions, if I were to put them in a group right now, not many would be in the 'circle of trust'. TRUST ME.

Trust.

Some people don't deserve my trust. I learnt that tonight. Others do. I'm still deciding which people are which. Some I already know which category they fall into, unfortunately for them.

weekends.,

I may have had the best weekend of my life. And I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not in my current situation. But to put all my worries and concerns aside, I definitely had the (to quote the Black Eyed Peas) time of my life. Maybe the fact that I spent most of my weekend with Annabelle and in the presence of God has something to do with it. I am definitely a lot more 'religious' now. I am confident in my beliefs an d I am not ashamed to discuss them with my friends. Or argue my point if need be. And Annabelle has helped me with this. She is safely the bestest friend I have ever had. She is, ironically, a Godsend.

some people are 'pissé'

Angry. Apparently sometimes I come across too angry. I say things in a way that puts the wrong message across. I don't mean to, it just happens. This results in people being angry, annoyed or generally pissed at me. And I'm not sure I like it. I need to try and calm down. But it's my nature, it's who I am. Surely, if they're my friends, they should just accept the way I am and understand that I need to express myself in different ways than they do. I mean, it's not like I'm physically aggressive... just maybe a bit too angry in my tone of voice, or my facial expressions, or even just what I say. That's what I'm told anyway. And I am definitely NOT a chav.

Finding Nemo... in a sense,

There is a quote from Finding Nemo which has been incredibly relevant recently. And using this quote has most definitely made me think about a lot of things and help other people, even if all I do is quote this Disney film. So it goes like this:

You know what you gotta do when life get's you down? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

I have decided that for the purposes of me definitely not being a fish, I am going to substitute 'swimming' for 'going'. Or in other words, forget it, move on, and keep living life to the full. So that's what I have been doing. That is what I intend to do. For now, and for a long time coming, because it is keeping me happy and I reckon anything that is going wrong will sort itself out in the end anyway. For better or for worse. And if it IS for worse, it obviously wasn't worth worrying about anyway.

Here endeth the lesson.

Smiling Again.

I'm smiling again. It's taken a lot, but it has been nearly a month and a half since I saw my family and got my thoughts on track properly. I needed the family kick up the bum to understand what was going on in my head. Two of my favourite family members are here in London with me at the moment, and I couldn't be more pleased. After our chat over tapas tonight, I have realised I don't need the people that make me feel bad, and it is the loving, caring friends who appreciate me for who I am which I should focus my attention on. So that's what I intend to carry on with. That is to say, I had already started to make this realisation and am already acting on it. Some people know about this. Others don't. For now it is staying that way, but when the time is right all will become clear and everything will be alright again. I'm still smiling. Today has been a good day, lots of laughs and hugs and all round humour. And I know now who the people who really appreciate me are.
Mort is my alter ego, and my idol King Julian has requested to appear in this blog. Et voila... My brilliant friend KJ appears in this blog, and she knows a secret. Lucky I trust her ;)
Yes, I'm definitely smiling again.

I can't believe it's only Thursday.

I told him, and he is still my friend luckily but he declined the offer. I have got over it, he's an awesome guy and he is hilarious, I'll just have to wait... as Charlie said "there'll be others." She's so right, she's always right. Listening to her pays off. Listening to the people I trust pays off. Now all I have to worry about is getting this house for next year but MY are the days dragging slowly. It's STILL Thursday and I haven't been to my lecture yet. I shouldn't complain, that'd be wishing my life away, but I just want to have a normal week for once! Last night however, I do believe I may have had the best night of my life. Fez. It's not even that good a club, it's just I was with some real genuine people, and they are truly awesome. Annabelle is the most amazing person ever, and the one person who I know will always be there for me through thick and through thin. Other events this week include playing poker at the boys' 'cave'. TRULY AWESOME. Craig invited me randomly, which was nice, as I haven't seen much of him recently and I enjoyed myself in the end, as I didn't know what to expect. I also lost my bank card, but hell to that, it's been sorted now and everything is all gravy. I have actually done some work too, which I am pretty proud of. Oh, and I had a flu jab.

i will do this.

i am going to tell the boy i like exactly that.
i am going to tidy my room.
i am going to do my work.
i am going to eat more.

just probably not in that order.

finally...

I am back at university, in the land of where I want to be, and I have finished my work, handed it in, and all is well. All that's left to do now is tidy my room and unpack. God, this is going to take a while. I might turn my heating on and put on a working song so I can whistle (or sing) while I work. That usually helps me. And my room IS a mess...