Lost in confusion

I don't know where confusion is, or how I got there, but I am definitely lost in it. I am confused about why certain things happen, why people feel the need to share every single thing with people that definitely do not need to know. Why tell them things which will anger them, and then make someone else more angry or upset? I just don't understand. I am confused about why people do things, and don't explain them. To their friends! I can ask, and get a null response, nothing. It really aggravates me, and I can't understand why a straight answer can't be given. Sometimes feeling like this makes me feel really hypocritical in spite of all the things I've done, but that was in the past, I regret that, apologised, and it's over. Can't people just see that? Also, some of my friends are not acting in the way true friends should, it makes me think too much about who I call a friend and who is just someone I know. I think I've had this conversation in my mind already, and it is in relation to the same person. Judgemental... It's annoying, especially when I can't read their thoughts. This goes back to the trust thing. Some of my friends, if they knew about this, should seriously consider their positions, if I were to put them in a group right now, not many would be in the 'circle of trust'. TRUST ME.

Trust.

Some people don't deserve my trust. I learnt that tonight. Others do. I'm still deciding which people are which. Some I already know which category they fall into, unfortunately for them.

weekends.,

I may have had the best weekend of my life. And I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not in my current situation. But to put all my worries and concerns aside, I definitely had the (to quote the Black Eyed Peas) time of my life. Maybe the fact that I spent most of my weekend with Annabelle and in the presence of God has something to do with it. I am definitely a lot more 'religious' now. I am confident in my beliefs an d I am not ashamed to discuss them with my friends. Or argue my point if need be. And Annabelle has helped me with this. She is safely the bestest friend I have ever had. She is, ironically, a Godsend.

some people are 'pissé'

Angry. Apparently sometimes I come across too angry. I say things in a way that puts the wrong message across. I don't mean to, it just happens. This results in people being angry, annoyed or generally pissed at me. And I'm not sure I like it. I need to try and calm down. But it's my nature, it's who I am. Surely, if they're my friends, they should just accept the way I am and understand that I need to express myself in different ways than they do. I mean, it's not like I'm physically aggressive... just maybe a bit too angry in my tone of voice, or my facial expressions, or even just what I say. That's what I'm told anyway. And I am definitely NOT a chav.

Finding Nemo... in a sense,

There is a quote from Finding Nemo which has been incredibly relevant recently. And using this quote has most definitely made me think about a lot of things and help other people, even if all I do is quote this Disney film. So it goes like this:

You know what you gotta do when life get's you down? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

I have decided that for the purposes of me definitely not being a fish, I am going to substitute 'swimming' for 'going'. Or in other words, forget it, move on, and keep living life to the full. So that's what I have been doing. That is what I intend to do. For now, and for a long time coming, because it is keeping me happy and I reckon anything that is going wrong will sort itself out in the end anyway. For better or for worse. And if it IS for worse, it obviously wasn't worth worrying about anyway.

Here endeth the lesson.